Lent is approaching. It is a school of repentance. It gives us the opportunity and resources to deal with the problem of self love. In fact, this is so important that the first prayers we encounter at the beginning of lent are the prayers of the Canon of St Andrew of Crete. This Canon painstakingly describes our fallenness, shame and need.
The problem of malignant self love is as old as humanity itself. In the case of narcissists, the intensity of self love and the denial of their brokenness reaches toxic proportions and the narcissists leave a wave of destruction in their wake.
But they are not the only ones facing the dilemma of what to do when confronted with the fact of their own nakedness and brokenness. Adam realized that he was naked after eating of the fruit. The pleasure of eating what was forbidden was followed by the pain of the awareness of his own destitute state. And he could not bear it. Adam could not look at it. He refused to accept his nakedness and go to God in repentance to be clothed. Instead, Adam covered himself with leaves. He created an illusion to hide the reality of who he was. Of course this false mask is utterly rejected by God. It is an abomination.
The Lord Himself warned about this when he approached the fig tree and found only leaves. He did this in direct reference to Adam. And He cursed the leafy fig tree for not bearing fruit. The tree was externally beautiful enough to be inviting, to give the impression of health. But on closer look, it was empty. It had no fruit. This is unacceptable to God. And the Lord cursed it.
There is a point in our Christian walk when we are all confronted with who we really are. This is a crucial moment. The true spiritual life begins at the moment when we see the horror of our spiritual destitution and decide. We must choose. Do we run to God to be clothed, to be purified and sanctified, to be granted real holiness; or do we hide our brokenness behind a lie, the make believe creation of our pride and self love?
We must be aware that the garment of leaves, the mask, the lie, the illusion, will be utterly rejected and cursed by God. The choice is ours to make. Lord have mercy!
This is a summary in my own words of the first chapter of the book, The Way of the Spirit, by Archimandrite Aimilianos of Simonopetra.
Watch the video below, for the dynamics of how the false self is created, as a denial and in defense of brokenness.
https://youtu.be/0IIJZ71KbMM
Adam hid behind leaves but that did not work, and God took the leaves off and clothed him.The leafy fig tree was exposed by the Lord and cursed. It died. The Church of Laodicea also was complacent in her image. She could not even see how destitute she was. The Lord calls her, and us, to repentance, to ask God to reveal our nakedness and sins to us, that we may see and cling to Him for our true Life.
“To the angel in the church of Laodicea write,
Because you say, “I am rich, and have become wealthy, and have need of nothing,” and you do not know that you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked, I advise you to buy from Me gold refined by fire so that you may become rich, and white garments so that you may clothe yourself, and that the shame of your nakedness will not be revealed; and eye salve to anoint your eyes so that you may see. Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline; therefore be zealous and repent."- Revelation 3:17-19
