Light or Darkness, a Choice that Must Be Made with the Heart

All the circumstances of our lives; past, present and future, are

an opportunity to make the disposition of our hearts manifest.

We must choose between light or darkness. This choice is not to

be made merely by a decision of our reasoning brains but by the

innermost movements of our hearts. How often do we deceive

ourselves into thinking that we are choosing wisely because we

agree that virtue is worth pursuing, but when pressed-upon by 

our circumstances, our hearts manifest the darkness inside and

we knowingly or unknowingly embrace that darkness and act on

it.

While we are still alive, there is much we can do to purify

ourselves, with God's Grace and the wise use of our free will.

Therefore let us occupy ourselves with the one thing needful,

to attend to the inner healing of our soul that it may lean

towards the light and reject the darkness.

In the book 'The Gurus the Young Mand and Elder Paisios', by

Dionysios Farasiotis p.238-242, St Herman Press 2008, we read

the most amazing description of that moment when a search-

ing soul is presented with the terrifying choice, eternal life or

eternal death.

"The Choice between Light and Darkness"

One afternoon at the beginning of Holy Week, having made a

stop in Thessaloniki, I was by myself in our home there, when,

suddenly, my surroundings vanished. There were no images to

be seen, sounds to be heard, or objects to be touched. My five

senses had ceased functioning. It was as though the light switch

had been flicked and the room plunged into total darkness.

My mind turned its full attention to a spiritual realm that it found

utterly riveting and captivating. In one direction, I saw a soft

but intense light- brilliant yet gentle. In the other direction, I

saw a thick, cavernous darkness. Initially, I turned my attention

towards the awesome, yet fearful, darkness. It made my flesh

crawl, but I was  overcome by curiosity, the desire to understand

what it was. My mind advanced towards the darkness, and I

began to sense the magnitute of its negation. The deeper I went,

the greater this negation became, and the thicker the darkness.

It had a vast power and, if I dare put it this way, a certain

grandeur. It represented a negative perspective on reality, un-

hesitatingly extending into reality as depth, even as the light

stretched infinitely into reality as height. On one side, there was

immense love; on the other immense hatred. The light was over-

flowing with unconditional altruism, while the darkness pulled

away in utter self-centeredness.

Though I could not see into the darkness, I could feel the presence

of souls in it, leaping about and shrieking with insane, wicked

laughter as they were pulled deeper and deeper into the ocean

of darkness , until the sound of their voices disappeared altoge-

ther. Frightened by this savage madness, I headed towards the

light, seeking its protection. Just reaching its outskirts, I felt the

relief of having being rescued from a grave danger.

Although I didn't advance very far at all into the darkness, I was

able to fill the depths of its evil ocean. I could understand the

very essence of the enticing power of sin to tempt, as well as

its laughable powerlessness, utter dependence, and shodowy

non-existence. The darkness,I saw, is fearsome when it has won

you over, but it is absurd and feeble when you reject it- it can

not defeat even a small child if he does not fall on his own. In

the same way, I did not advance far into the light- only so to

speak, skating its edge -but even there I felt confident and

comforted by a fullness of life, peace, joy, and knowledge.

The light loved me greatly in spite of my unworthiness and

granted me its gifts, gifts I never dreamed existed.

At this point, I realized that the light created the world and

every living being. The existential space in which each person

dwells is itself a creation fashioned by the light, which also

fills and permeates these spaces. One being decided to stay

outside of the existential space created by the light, thus

creating a sort of space for itself, though only by denying the

light, turning from it and driving it away. The darkness has no

existence of its own, but only in that it denies the ever-exist-

ing and sovereign light....

Just as the light's love wishes to unite all things, being the

source of existence and creation, so the hatred of the dark-

ness wants to devide all things, being the source of non-

existence and destruction.

Within a matter of minutes, I had received a lesson of immea-

surable depth. It was not only a revelation beyond words, of

subtle differences of profound meaning and great importance,

but also -and even more- a test and trial of the deepest incli-

nations and intentions of my heart, to see whom I would

follow and whom I would leave behind. Fortunately, altho-

ugh my heart initially moved towards the darkness, it

ultimately found repose in the light- and fortunately, the

light still accepted me."

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