Light or Darkness, a Choice that Must Be Made with the Heart
All the circumstances of our lives; past, present and future, are
an opportunity to make the disposition of our hearts manifest.
We must choose between light or darkness. This choice is not to
be made merely by a decision of our reasoning brains but by the
innermost movements of our hearts. How often do we deceive
ourselves into thinking that we are choosing wisely because we
agree that virtue is worth pursuing, but when pressed-upon by
our circumstances, our hearts manifest the darkness inside and
we knowingly or unknowingly embrace that darkness and act on
it.
While we are still alive, there is much we can do to purify
ourselves, with God's Grace and the wise use of our free will.
Therefore let us occupy ourselves with the one thing needful,
to attend to the inner healing of our soul that it may lean
towards the light and reject the darkness.
In the book 'The Gurus the Young Mand and Elder Paisios', by
Dionysios Farasiotis p.238-242, St Herman Press 2008, we read
the most amazing description of that moment when a search-
ing soul is presented with the terrifying choice, eternal life or
eternal death.
"The Choice between Light and Darkness"
One afternoon at the beginning of Holy Week, having made a
stop in Thessaloniki, I was by myself in our home there, when,
suddenly, my surroundings vanished. There were no images to
be seen, sounds to be heard, or objects to be touched. My five
senses had ceased functioning. It was as though the light switch
had been flicked and the room plunged into total darkness.
My mind turned its full attention to a spiritual realm that it found
utterly riveting and captivating. In one direction, I saw a soft
but intense light- brilliant yet gentle. In the other direction, I
saw a thick, cavernous darkness. Initially, I turned my attention
towards the awesome, yet fearful, darkness. It made my flesh
crawl, but I was overcome by curiosity, the desire to understand
what it was. My mind advanced towards the darkness, and I
began to sense the magnitude of its negation. The deeper I went,
the greater this negation became, and the thicker the darkness.
It had a vast power and, if I dare put it this way, a certain
grandeur. It represented a negative perspective on reality, un-
hesitatingly extending into reality as depth, even as the light
stretched infinitely into reality as height. On one side, there was
immense love; on the other immense hatred. The light was over-
flowing with unconditional altruism, while the darkness pulled
away in utter self-centeredness.
Though I could not see into the darkness, I could feel the presence
of souls in it, leaping about and shrieking with insane, wicked
laughter as they were pulled deeper and deeper into the ocean
of darkness , until the sound of their voices disappeared altogether.
Frightened by this savage madness, I headed towards the
light, seeking its protection. Just reaching its outskirts, I felt the
relief of having being rescued from a grave danger.
Although I didn't advance very far at all into the darkness, I was
able to fill the depths of its evil ocean. I could understand the
very essence of the enticing power of sin to tempt, as well as
its laughable powerlessness, utter dependence, and shadowy
non-existence. The darkness,I saw, is fearsome when it has won
you over, but it is absurd and feeble when you reject it- it can
not defeat even a small child if he does not fall on his own. In
the same way, I did not advance far into the light- only so to
speak, skating its edge -but even there I felt confident and
comforted by a fullness of life, peace, joy, and knowledge.
The light loved me greatly in spite of my unworthiness and
granted me its gifts, gifts I never dreamed existed.
At this point, I realized that the light created the world and
every living being. The existential space in which each person
dwells is itself a creation fashioned by the light, which also
fills and permeates these spaces. One being decided to stay
outside of the existential space created by the light, thus
creating a sort of space for itself, though only by denying the
light, turning from it and driving it away. The darkness has no
existence of its own, but only in that it denies the ever-existing
and sovereign light....
Just as the light's love wishes to unite all things, being the
source of existence and creation, so the hatred of the darkness
wants to divide all things, being the source of non-existence
and destruction.
Within a matter of minutes, I had received a lesson of immea-
surable depth. It was not only a revelation beyond words, of
subtle differences of profound meaning and great importance,
but also -and even more- a test and trial of the deepest inclinations
and intentions of my heart, to see whom I would follow and whom
I would leave behind. Fortunately, although my heart initially
moved towards the darkness, it ultimately found repose in the
light- and fortunately, the light still accepted me."
Dionysios Farasiotis is the pen name of
Athanasios Racovalis
Recommended Reading
- A Commentary On The Divine Liturgy by St. Nicholas Cabasilas, ISBN: 0-913836-37-0
- A Night in the Desert of the Holy Mountain by Metropolitan Hierotheos Vlachos Trans. by Effie Mavromichali, ISBN: 960-7070-31-3
- A Spiritual Psalter or Reflections On God excerpted by St. Theophan the Recluse from the works of St. Ephraim the Syrian, Trans. by Antonina Janda, ISBN 0-912927-40-2
- Against False Union ( with a prologue by Photios Kontoglou) by Alexander Kalomiros, Trans. by George Gabriel, ISBN: 0-913026-49-2
- Akathist To Jesus Conqueror of Death, by St Nikolai Velimirovich, Trans. by Interklima, Copyright 2009, English Edition, by St Paisius Monastery, Safford, AZ
- An Athonite Gerontikon by Archimandrite Ioannikios, Holy Monastery of St Gregory Palamas Kouphalia, Greece 1991
- Byzantine Theology by John Meyendorff, ISBN: 0-8232-0967-9
- Christ Our Way and Our Life by Archimandrite Zacharias Zacharou, ISBN 1-878997-74-2
- Christ The Eternal Tao by Hieromonk Damascene, ISBN 0-938635-85-9
- Commentary on The Gospel of St Luke by St Cyril of Alexandria Trans. by R.Payne Smith, Studion Publishers, Inc. ISBN:0-943670-01-2
- Concerning Frequent Communion by Nikodemos the Hagiorite, Trans. by George Dokos, ISBN: 960-86778-5-8
- Confronting Controlling Thoughts by Antony M. Coniaris, ISBN: ISBN: 1-880971-88-7
- Conversations with Children by Sister Magdalen, ISBN: 1-874679-21-5
- Counsels from the Holy Mountain by Elder Ephraim of Philotheou, ISBN: 0-9667000-2-3
- Daily Readings with St. Isaac of Syria, Trans. by Sebastian Brock, ISBM: 0-87243-173-8
- Dance, O Isaiah by Constantine Platis, unknown printing 2000
- Diary Of A Pilgrimage from the Ancient Christian Writers series, by Egeria, Trans. by George E. Gingras, ISBN: 0-8091-0029-0
- Drinking from the Hidden Fountain by Thomas Spidlik, ISBN: 0-87907-348-9
- Elder Ephraim of Katounakia Trans by Tessy Vassiliaou-Christodoulou, ISBN: 960-7407-33-4
- Elder Paisios of Mount Athos Spiritual Counsels, Spiritual Awakening vol 2, Trans by Fr. Peter Chamberas, Holy Monastery 'Evangelist John The Theologian' Souroti, Greece 2007
- Elder Paisios of Mount Athos Spiritual Counsels, With Pain And Love for Contemporay Man vol1, Trans by Cornelia A. Tsakiridou & Maria Spanou, Holy Monastery 'Evangelist John The Theologian' Souroti, Greece 2006
- Epistles by Elder Paisios of Mount Athos, Holy Monastery of the Evangelist John the Theologian, Souroti, Greece 2002
- Father Arseny Trans. by Vera Bouteneff, ISBN 0-88141-180-9
- Flame in the Snow, A Life of St Seraphim of Sarov by Julia de Beausobre, ISBN: 0-87243-223-8
- From St. Isaac The Syrian to Dostoyevsky by Archimandrite Vasileios, Trans. by Dr.Elizabeth Theokritoff, ISBN: 1-896800-34-3
- Grace For Grace: The Psalter And The Holy FathersCompiled and Edited by Johanna Manley, ISBN: 0-9622536-1-8
- Hesychia and Theology by Metropolitan Hierotheos Vlachos, Trans. by Sister Pelagia Selfe, ISBN: 978-960-7070-60-9
- His Life is Mine by Archimandrite Sophrony, ISBN: 0-913836-33-8
- I Love Therefore I Am by Fr. Nicholas V. Sakharov, ISBN: 0-88141-236-8
- In The Light of Christ, St Symeon The New Theologian by Archbishop Basil Krivocheine Trans. by Anthony P. Gythiel, ISBN 0-913836-91-5
- Isaac of Ninaveh ( Isaac The Syrian) The Second Part, chapters IV-XLV, Trans. by Sebastian Brock, ISBN: 90-6831-709-1
- Missionary Lettersof Saint Nikolai Velimirovich vol 1, Trans. by Hierodeacon Serafim, New Gracanica Monastery, Grayslake, IL
- Monastic Wisdom, The Letters of Elder Joseph The Hesychast, ISBN: 0-9667000-0-7
- Mount Athos Renewal in Paradise by Graham Speake, ISBN: 0-300-093535
- Nil SorskyTrans. and Edited by George A. Maloney, ISBN: 0-8091-9810-7
- Not of This World,Compiled and Edited by James S. Cutsinger, ISBN: 0-941532-41-0
- On Prayer by Archimandrite Sophrony Sakharov Trans.by Rosemar Edmonds, ISBN 0-88141-194-9
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- Orthodox Spiritual Life According to Saint Silouan The Athonite by Harry Boosalis, ISBN: 1-878997-60-2
- Orthodox Spirituality and The Philokalia by Placide Deseille Trans. by Anthon P. Gythiel, ISBN 978-0-9717483-7-8
- Orthodox Spirituality by Metropolitan Hierotheos Vlachos, ISBN 960-7070-20-8
- Passions and Virtues According to Saint Gregory Palamas by Anestis Keselopulos, ISBN: 1-878997-75-0
- Patristic Theology by John S. Romanides, ISBN 978-960-86778-8-3
- Prayers by the Lake by St Nikolai Velimirovich, The Serbian Orthodox Metropolinate of New Gracanica, Grayslake, IL 1999
- Saint Cyril of Alexandria and the Christological Controversy by John McGuckin, ISBN: 0-88141-259-7
- Santa Biblia Antigua Version de Casiodoro De Reina Revisada por Cipriano de Valera(1602) Revision de 1960, Holman Publishers 2008
- St John of Damascus, The Fathers of the Church series, Trans. by Frederic H. Chase, Jr., ISBN: 0-8132-0968-4
- St Seraphim of Sarov, A Spiritual Biography by Archimandrite Lazarus Moore, ISBN: 1-880364-13-1
- St Silouan The Athonite by Archimandrite Sophrony, ISBN 0-88141-195-7
- St. Symeon The New Theologian, On The Mystical Life, The Ethical Discourses, Trans. by Alexander Golitzin 3 vols. ISBN: 0-88141-142-6 and - 143-4, and 144-2
- Standing In God's Holy Fire by John A. McGuckin, ISBN: 1-57075-382-2
- Symeon The New Theologian, The Discourses, Classics of Western Spirituality, ISBN: 0-8091-2230-8
- Symeon The New Theologian, The Practical and Theological Discourses and The Three Theological Chapters, Trans. by Dr. Paul McGuckin, Cistercian Publications Inc. 1982
- The Acquisition of The Holy Spirit by I.M. Kontzevitch, ISBN: 0-938635-73-5
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- The Church Fathers ( Ante-Nicene, Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers, published by Hendrickson Publishers, Peabody Massachusetts, 37 vol. set
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- The Faith of Chosen People by St Nikolai Velimirovich, The Free Serbian Diocese of America and Canada, Grayslake, IL 1988
- The Faith of The Saints , A Catechism by St. Nikolai Velimirovich, ISBN:1-932965-06-8
- The Fifty Spiritual Homilies, Pseudo-Macarius, ISBN: 0-8091-0455-5
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- The Heart by Archimandrite Spyridon Logothetis, ISBN 960-86639-4-6
- The Hidden Man of The Heart by Archimandrite Zacharias Zacharou, ISBN 978-0-9800207-1-7
- The Holy Bible NKJV, Thomas Nelson, 1992
- The Homilies of Saint Gregory Palamas by Christopher Veniamin, 2 vols. ISBN: 1-878997-67-X; ISBN: 1-878997-68-X
- The Ladder of Divine Ascent by St. John Climacus Edited by Holy Transfifuration Monastery 1979, ISBN 0-943405-03-3
- The Life of St. Anthony by St. Athanasius the Great, Eastern Orthodox Books, Willits, CA
- The Lives of The Holy Prophets by Holy Apostles Convent, ISBN: 0944359-12-4
- The Living Witness of the Holy Mountain by Hieromonk Alexander Golitzin, ISBN: 1-878997-48-3
- The Luminus Eye by Sebastian Brock, ISBN: 0-87907-524-4
- The Mind of the Orthodox Church by Metropolitan Hierotheos Vlachos, Trans. by Esther Williams, ISBN: 960-7070-39-9
- The One Thing Needful by Archbishop Andrei of Novo- Diveevo, ISBN: 91-2927-29-1
- The Orthodox Ethos, Studies in Orthodoxy Edited by A.J. Philippou, Hollywell Press Oxford 1964
- The Orthodox New Testament 2 vols., Published by The Holy Apostles Convent 1999, ISBN: 0-944359-17-5 & 0-944359-14-0
- The Philokalia, The Complete Text compiled by St Nicodemos of the Holy Mountain and St Makarios of Corinth, Trans. by G.E.H. Palmer, Phillip Sherrard and Kallistos Ware Vol 4 ISBN: 0-571-11727-9
- The Philokalia, The Complete Text compiled by St Nicodemos of the Holy Mountain and St Makarios of Corinth, Trans. by G.E.H. Palmer, Phillip Sherrard and Kallistos Ware Vol2 ISBN: 0-571-15466-2
- The Philokalia, The Complete Text compiled by St Nicodemos of the Holy Mountain and St Makarios of Corinth, Trans. by G.E.H. Palmer, Phillip Sherrard and Kallistos WareVol 3 ISBN: 0-571-17525-2
- The Philokalia, The Complete Textcompiled by St Nicodemos of the Holy Mountain and St Makarios of Corinth, Trans. by G.E.H. Palmer, Phillip Sherrard and Kallistos Ware, Vol 1 ISBN: 0-571-13013-5
- The Philokalia: Master Reference Guide Compiled by Basileios S. Stapakis, Trans by G.E.H. Palmer, Phillip Sherrard, Kallistos Ware, ISBN: 1-880971-87-9
- The Prologue of Ohrid, Trans. by Fr. Timothy Tepsic, vol 1 ISBN: 978-0-9719505-0-4; vol 2 ISBN: 978-0-9719505-1-1
- The Psalter Trans. by Holy Transfiguration Monastery, ISBN: 0-943405-00-9
- The Spiritual World of St Isaac the Syrian by Bishop Hilarion Alfeyev, Cistercian Publications, Kalamazoo, Michigan 2000
- The Way of A Pilgrim trans.by R.M. French, ISBN 345-24254-8-150
- We Shall See Him As He Is by Archimandrite Sophrony Sakharov, ISBN 0-9512786-4-9
- Wisdom. Let Us Attend: Job, The Fathers, and The Old Testament by Johanna Manley, ISBN: 0-9622536-4-2
- Words of Life by Archimandrite Sophrony, Trans. by Sister Magdalen, ISBN1-874679-11-8
- Writings from The Philokalia On Prayer of The Heart, Trans. by E. Kadloubovsky and G.E.H. Palmer, ISBN: 0-571-16393-9
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